It's not uncommon to hear people who have taken a course in hypnosis say things like "It was really fun but I don't see how I would use it in my life." Of course the easy answer to this is that everyone can use self-hypnosis to solve problems, enhance performance, manage pain or relax and sleep better. Everyone needs the intense, relaxed focus that hypnosis promotes. Self hypnosis is a powerful way of influencing yourself.
Training in hypnosis is only partly about self-influence. Most people take hypnosis courses because they are curious about their ability to influence others. Let's take a look at three ways that you could use training in hypnosis to improve the quality of your relationships.
The core skill in hypnosis is listening. This isn't apparent when you watch a stage hypnotist: it is part of the "magic" that your attention is on the subjects and not on the hypnotists while they are working. It should be apparent in any good hypnosis class. Even before the induction begins, the hypnotist is paying attention with all of his or her senses. This is whole brain listening: hypnotists pick up key words and inflections, watch postures and expressions and notice breathing. They reflect what they observe back to the client to create a wonderful sense of connection and safety. Now take a moment and identify one relationship in your life that would benefit from that quality of connection.
Another skill in hypnosis is the ability to distinguish what is said from how it is said. Hypnotists learn to vary their voice tone and tempo in response to the changes they want to induce in their client. Sometimes these variations are in keeping with the meaning of their words, and sometimes the meaning of the words follows an independent pattern. Generally, hypnotists learn to convey at least two meanings simultaneously. The sound of their voice carries the message that it is safe to focus internally and allow the hypnotist to guide the process. The words in the message give specific suggestions about what will happen inside the process. When you think about your life or work, when would it be useful for you to convey a message about the quality of your relationship at the same time you conveyed information about a task, activity or person?
Finally, hypnotists all know the power of positive suggestion. They neatly avoid the trap that many people fall into of making suggestions they would rather you didn't follow. For instance, I have heard many yoga teachers tell classes to "let go of your work and all the stress of your day." They clearly don't know that talking about something brings it into awareness. Or you could think about the parents who mean well when they tell their young children, "don't spill that." Introducing something tangible to the senses, like spilling, makes a suggestion to the brain. When we are connected with someone (like a teacher, supervisor or manager) we open ourselves to suggestion. Where in your life would it be useful for you to remember to suggest what you want (not what you don't want).
Does this look too simple? Influence is simple. Two people make a connection through what is familiar. One person makes a change, and the other person follows. Under all the complexities of teaching, selling, parenting, or managing, there are two people who are paying attention to each other. When you think about applying your hypnosis training now, you can notice that it's easy to let go of the complexity and simply focus on what you want.
Linda Ferguson, Ph.D. is a senior partner at NLP Canada Training Inc. in Toronto, Canada. With her partner, Chris Keeler, Linda develops training that allows people to experience stronger integrity and better results. Clients experience rapid, sustainable change and long-term learning about how their thinking drives success. Drawing on fields from the arts to business to neuroscience, NLP Canada Training Inc. provides spring-training for the mind: clients sharpen their perceptions, focus their efforts, and become better at knowing what they want and communicating to get it. Read more from Linda at nlpcanada.com nlpcanada.com or nlpcanadatraining.blogspot.com nlpcanadatraining.blogspot.com
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